Life of an auditor

Dear Employees: It has been brought to the attention of management that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases are being provided so that a proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner. Number 1 TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training. INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing. Number 2 TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter. INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__. Number 3 TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this? Number 4 TRY SAYING: I'm cer...

Wonder when we can twitter a text message straight to the blog site so we don't even need to go to the web...or does it already exist?

Was just looking through my email archives from a few years ago to find a spreadsheet (how shocking), and came across some forwards that I'm sure many of you have seen, but if not, I thought I'd share them.... here's one comparing hookers and auditors....corny, but sadly, partly true... * You work very odd hours. * You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy. * You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money. * You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room. * You charge by the hour but your time can be extended for the right price. * You are not proud of what you do. * Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded. * It's difficult to have a family. * You have no job satisfaction. * If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client. * You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living. * People ask you what you do and you can't explain it. * Your family hardly recognizes you at reunions (at least the reunions you att...

Had to explain what i do to a few others a few days ago..and I realize I still struggle to come up with an answer...do I say - a) i'm an auditor (they think i do taxes) b) i'm an accountant (it's not really a good description c) i'm in consulting (not true)...I hate explaining what I do, and so I really just want a one word answer...like financial services, healthcare, engineer,architect. So for those of you who've come up with good answers, please do share. But, I digress... Ever notice how working with/in the same room as/right next to your team members for 15-16 hours a day sometimes lead to painful arguments, lack of tolerance for immaturity/ and bickering about the most inane things. And then you look back a few days later and realize how stupid those arguments were. At some point you just want to whoop the others' butts or yell at them. Another thing that happens after working with them for such an extended period of time, is that they start to enter your ...

Good times this year....Companies are striving to cut back on our proposed budget, and winning. At the same time, because of the economy, national is sending out more checklists, and making us do more work around debt covenants, and other specific company risks. So essentially, they're telling to work less by drastically cutting the hours, but at the same time, work more by drastically increasing the required amount of work. (Psstt....eat hours) Look, I agree that such times require more work, but come on now....work to atleast keep the hours as is. You can't cut back on charged hours. And don't even get me started on the checklists.

"Do you have any advice to share on asking your senior for more work? I always find that I run out of work, but I'm not sure if I'll be HELPING destress them by getting some more work, or just making them more stressed out because they have to find something for me to do! " Props on wanting to be more helpful. If you run out of work, please let your seniors know. They really do not want to bug you every few minutes to see where you stand, and at the same time you do not want them to keep bugging you if you're trying hard. If they get stressed that they have to find something for you to do, they should do one of the following - a) Give you some of what they're responsible for b) ask you to sit back and surf the web if they're waiting on something from the client c) let you take off and not waste away surfing the web. So definitely put the onus on them. If they're the type of people who are concerned they don't have anything for you to do, and for so...

And so ends the first half of busy season (hopefully), and with it again came a lack of time, destruction of health and fitness, an appreciation for a few minutes of not doing anything and a questioning of why the heck we're in this job in the first place. And we wonder why people do drugs and alcohol? (Kidding) On to another topic - got a few questions about outsourcing and whether it takes place in this field - Yes, we do outsource - things like valuation, ticking and tying, and the biggest of the lot - footing (for the uninitiated - it means summing). A lot of outsourcing is done in the financial service audit field. The teams have a ton of documents to foot, and in the past, this took time, and thus money. I absolutely hate doing it. Sometimes I just want to put a little tickmark in there saying I footed the darn thing. I don't care if you love math, but if I put a 200 page fund document in front of you and ask you to foot it, you will go nuts. And then there are some who a...