Life of an auditor

Got off at 7pm today, I saw the sun outside. Got another goodbye email. Good times. On another note, I want to blog about our constantly deteriorating eyesight, which a comment touched on earlier. I had near-perfect vision when i started in this field, and now i can't even watch tv properly without glasses. That's just sad. I battle with my glasses everyday, tried all sorts of color combinations on my little portable laptop, but I guess I can't really correct my vision back to near-perfect without getting lasered. I guess I have "audit vision" now, good enough to see a computer, bad enough to not drive back home without glasses Take my current audit team for example. It's 5 strong - and only one doesn't wear glasses. And he told me that the next time he goes to the eye doctor, he's probably going to get a prescription since his eyes are getting worse too. First - your time, then - your mental health, now your physical health? What's next -your sani...

I was walking out from work last night at about 8:30 pm and there were only four cars in the company's huge parking lot - mine, the mgr's, the senior mgr's, and the security guard's. Our Toyotas, Hondas and Nissans dominate the visitor's parking lot and are pretty much there longer than employee cars. Which is ironic since visitors parking lots are really designed for 2-3 hour parking since they're right in front of the office. They should have a separate parking lot for auditors and call it "Live-In" Parking.

It's that time of year...when we start getting a flurry of goodbye emails. Headhunters are aggressively filling up our mailboxes. This time, with $ included in the voicemails too. We are initially surprised by our friends/co-workers leaving, then filled with curiosity to try and find out where these folk are heading. A little later, it sets in, another one of us is leaving, our class is dwindling. We're still here. Why? Because - a) We think it's ideal to stay until a certain level and then leave b) We don't mind this job and will see where it takes us c) We just don't know what else to do. I'll be honest, when people leaving for normal jobs that may pay more but are pretty boring (Controller, etc.), I couldn't care less...but when they leave for bigger and better jobs (in my opinion at least)...I just think..shit! And apparently, from talks with my co-workers, I'm not alone. A manager once told me that during his training a few years ago, everyone was a...

Most people are resistant to change, and this is clearly seen in our field. The older they are, the more resistant they are to change, especially anything electronic. It’s really painful that in this technologically oriented age, we’re probably using more paper than ever. Printouts after printouts for the managers and above just because they’d rather see something on paper. If somebody does a study on which profession uses the most paper, the public accounting field will be up there in the rankings. We can also manage to turn the cleanest room ever into a mess, almost like letting little kids let loose. Papers everywhere, files everywhere, all sorts of food items on the table, the phone probably hidden under piles of files. On top of that, our little hubs and internet cables make it look like a tech playhouse. It’s really something else.

Seriously, what's the problem with showing us your payroll? You really think we'd care enough to publicize those ADP reports showing us hourly rates? Making us sit and watch HR show us instead of us getting our hands on the paperwork is not the best way to do it.

Why come up with sophisticated descriptions describing jobs in public accounting? This is really what it should be - We are seeking students who graduated from college with an Accounting Major. That's really it. We don't care what your extracurricular activities were. Responsibilities include- a) Tying out numbers, i.e. making sure a number in one "authentic" sheet is the same as the number in company records b) Ticking numbers,i.e. adding symbols next to numbers showing that you have looked at the number and then adding legends explaining what those numbers mean. c) Working around 45-50 hours a week on average from April-December and 55-65 hours a week from January-March. PS: This doesn't include lunch. d) Going to company warehouses, counting 25 items and making sure they're on some company sheet, and then looking at the sheet and making sure 25 items on the sheet are on the floor. e) Mailing out confirms, i.e. letters to banks asking them how much your clie...

Looks like our good friends at wikipedia helped out with this sarcastic and sadly sometimes true definition of an auditor... http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Auditor Here's an excerpt - Auditors are a species of nomadic mammals who came to Earth from the planet Debitor in the 1960s. Auditors are paperivores and hunt in packs known as audit teams. Each audit team is part of a bigger tribe. There is much tribal rivalry and situations are subject to change as large tribes seek to exterminate one another, but at the time of going to press, the ruling tribe in the audit world was PWC (Pricks With Calculators). 'Nuff said.

Terms that might hold in most accounting firms - 1) P-track/Partner Track: Some folk are designated as being on the "partner track" when others believe that they like the job and plan on sticking it out to make Partner. 2) Johnny Audit: Guys who take their job seriously and perform thorough and substantive work 3) Annie Audit: Female version of Johnny Audit Feel free to comment below and add other terms you may have come across.

Enough negativity...one advantage of being in the audit field is getting the opportunity to go to a variety of clients. I started to observe office cultures, environments and such to see how different they are. One technology company for instance, had a free vending machine, free snacks, magazine racks in the restroom and even a dartboard. Study groups were using the office as a study area in the evenings, harmless blowup dolls everywhere. It was a wonderful environment. Contrast this with a warehouse-turned-office I worked in. You can almost smell the products from inside the office. The company wasn't doing well, the office is half-empty since it went through a spate of layoffs. The kitchen area was another story. One of my team members last year came in to work one day and said..."I get depressed by just driving here and walking in every morning." Talk about day and night. Sure, there are several middle grounds, but if I were to start/work in a company, I would place a...