Sure, auditors are a pain in the arse for clients, but it definitely goes both ways. I'd pay a good amount of money to get 5 minutes to yell at/ream out/insult/put them in their place. They get to say whatever they want to, but we can't..and it's really painful to hold it in. I can understand the Ari Golds of the world, and the 'client/customer is always right' phrase...but seriously, these contracts should come with a clause w/ 5 free minutes to say whatever I want to say to the controllers and VPs of the world.Ari Gold, Entourage
Client: "I don't understand why you want this"
What I say: "Well, this is why.."
What I want to say: "Well you dunce, instead of wasting time asking why I want it, just give it to me and move on with your life"
Client: "I don't think that's right. Let's ask your partner/snr mgr if he wants to do this"
What I say: "Sure...let's touch base with him/her right now"
What I want to say: "Look, you POS, he will either agree with me and ask you to give me what I need or he will give in to your request because he has to play 'the client is right' card more than me, not because he disagrees with me, but because he thinks you're a stubborn fool and doesn't want to waste time or money talking to you about a minor issue"
Client (for private companies): "Can we get the financials issued by this date?"
What I say: "Well, we'll try our best, and hopefully it'll work out"
What I want to say: "Probably not, because the odds are that you will be stubborn and hesitate giving me what I need to issue these financials on time. Or, because your team will make some mistakes and will then try and defend them egotistically instead of acknowledging it, recording the adjustment, and moving on"
I can think of so many more, but I have to stop. What other examples can you think of?