The day to give thanks

In honor of thanksgiving day, I thought it was time to dole out some thanks -
a) Thank you Firms, for not giving us raises this year
b) Thank you Firms, for explaining to us that our survival was enough to be thankful for
c) Thank you Firms, for laying off some of our closest friends
d) Thank you Firms, for telling us to be more efficient due to budget cuts and also telling us to do more at the same time due to the current environment
e) Thank you Firms, for creating a culture of nervousness by laying off people in random stages instead of one fell swoop
f) Thank you Firms, for creating a ridiculous number of useless but required checklists
g) Thank you Firms, for picking up certain clients who you know will never go public, but are yet losing money hoping that it does.
h) Thank you Firms, for being constantly recognized in magazines as being amongst the best, and yet those who get surveyed never happens to be employees in the audit practices
i) Thank you Firms, for nothing.